tell your sister to shave her snatch
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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