no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
