Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize