I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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