I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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