Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
