oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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