Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Houston, we have a squirter
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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