You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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