I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
