Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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