cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
