garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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