yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
