i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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