I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Shame - the story of my life.
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