There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
