So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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