I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
