My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
