Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
