The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
