Me too!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
