Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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