but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
