its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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