My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
