I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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