You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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