Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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