What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
