Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize