Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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