May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
