pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
