So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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