How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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