brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can i not drive my cunt home
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
