Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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