wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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