I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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