Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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