Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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