Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
