I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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