my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm sobbing to NWA
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
