I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
