It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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