look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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