I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
