i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
