I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
