Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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