Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize