thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
