Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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