eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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