The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
