The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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