google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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