Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
