He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
