her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
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He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
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In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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