O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
