My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
