were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize