he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
