come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
