she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize