just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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