my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
